Now that things are different I spend more time thinking about things, about the way they used to be. I hate it. I hate all the growing things. All the moving around.
And I hate you. And everyone. Not one person speaks the definite for sure truth; everyone thinks they do, though, and they tell me all their secrets by accident. But I already know these things, or I know they’re not true, so it doesn’t matter whether I already knew them or not.
There’s nowhere I can go where everyone will just stay still for a minute and calm down. Where I can look around and take tally of things. People are always moving, or their cells and liquids are; it creates a rushing noise, rush, rush, rush, like things won’t stop. It irks me. If everyone would just stay still for a minute, or maybe 2 minutes, then I could take tally, and mark everything with a letter or a number. I’d like that. I think you would too if you could see how nice it would be. I’d make marks on everything. I could find the right materials, things like wax and crayons and tar. Marks that would stick. We could understand things better.
I know it would be fun if we could mark things. We could make dots that would connect, like connect the dots. We could connect them, or not, and just wait for everything to start moving again, and we could then see what happens. Maybe new pictures would happen, pictures of cows and stars and buildings, parts of nature. The natural world. I love the natural world. You know I do. I believe in it. And I believe that someday everyone will take care to make dots and things on the natural world. In such a way that would point out to people how much we love our country. Because we do. Our country is natural, and smooth. It soothes people, makes them feel safe and warm and inside. I don’t know what I think anymore, but I know that the country can guide me to figure it out. When I am in this country, or I think about it, I feel like I am in control. I watch the little specs of dust in the air, and they go wherever I want them to. It’s not magic, it’s just a form of homework. I study it, like the way we used to spell “ham” or “business” when I was young.
Please don’t tell me that you don’t know about spelling, because I know you do, and it would be a lie. I hate lies, I don’t like them one bit. When you were young, you used to spell too. You spelled until your hand and your tongue hurt. Everyone marveled. It was so great! So much fun to spell.
Now we have to spell more complicated things, though. I have to spell the way the dust motes float through the air. You probably have to spell hard things, too, like maybe your family situation, or the soft cakes you buy at the store. Hard things to spell. But don’t complain! You’re forgetting what all these things are for. They’re to save the animals and the world. So stop complaining. It’s your fault. No one else complains, not ever. When you complain it makes it a lot harder for some of us to spend the kind of time we want to spend, to spend time in nature. In the world.
And spending time is important. We all need to die, or nothing will make any sense, or smell nice, or be able to bend back and forth. So please don’t. Don’t bend. There are big huge pipes that will suck you down and make you garbage. Don’t take that as a threat, I mean it’s the truth. Garbage is so unenvironmental. You’ll be crumbling into stinking parts. You’ll go down tubes, and be sucked. It will be gross. No one will care. In the bottom of the tubes, they just spit everything out, with lots of water. I saw it on television. You can’t imagine what it feels like, all that water rushing through. I don’t think you’d like it very much. I know I don’t like it.
Look, maybe it’s time to take a little break, I mean for me too, not just you. I’m sick of all this stuff about tubes and children. I want to relax. Don’t you want to relax? We could run around in a little square and recite things that we learned long ago. It would be much easier and everyone would love us for it. It’s the best way to make things easy. Things would be real again. Maybe we could do other things, make faces and the like. Put on boots and tromp around. Remember? Doesn’t that sound fun?