From far off, everyone looks like my family. For I have a very large family with many types of persons in it, and varied fashions of dress. My family dresses for all seasons and both winter and summer can be very useful in the understanding of what people look like from far off. All the people I know, as well as many I do not know, look like the different members of my family.
One way, though, that these people are not my family, and I know it, is that they are afraid. My family is not afraid. We are brave of things, and these people, even from far off, are shaky, or nervous. Their eyes dart around and they blink like babies. They wink a lot, with their little eyes, blinking back and forth the blinking of small nervous men and women. This is how I know these people, and know who they are, because they are nervous.
This nervousness makes them commit crimes I know they are guilty of. When someone accuses them, or even suspects them of a crime, they do it. It’s not their fault, though; it’s just because they are nervous and don’t quite know what to do with their hands, or how to do it. So they commit crimes. And those crimes are bad things they do.
Another thing about these people is that they are big. Not very big, just a small bit bigger than the people in my family. Their ears are a bit bigger, and the eyes, and the other small details that make up a person. These details are just the tiniest bit bigger than they are on my family members. Almost so that you can’t tell. Almost so that they are made up exactly to scale as with the people in my family. But even though, I can tell anyway. I hear the way they talk, and because of this, the way they look about and when they move their eyes I see that they are a small bit bigger than the people in my family.
This, when I think, is not such a good thing. Even if the differences are small, they are differences. And when you add them up, the people in my family are definitely not as big as the people who are nervous, and commit crimes. This makes me nervous. What if these people are much much bigger when all together than the people in the family? What if they do bad crimes toward me and bad crimes toward my family? This makes me feel frightened to think about.
This makes sense. It makes sense that I would be nervous about such things. But if I am, nervous, this makes me think that maybe I am not really a part of my own family. Because if I am nervous, then who am I? What do I do with my hands? And my eyes? What? Am I guilty of crimes? Maybe I am. Maybe this seems like faulty logic, but it is. It is logic.
Maybe I should think about how big I am. Maybe that is the point of this whole thing. I might be a little bit bigger than I thought I was. Maybe, looking in the mirror, and down at my hands and legs, I was wrong all this time. I might be just as bad as everyone else. I might be, or must be, or perhaps could be, just as big.
I might deserve for bad things to have happen to me. I might be guilty of all manners of things, and worried about this. I might worry. I might be very frightened, and move my arms and my eyes about the room in such a way that I might prove that this is true. I might prove that I am one of these people, that through my dress of all seasons, and actions, I might show that I am different from other people. And that maybe the people in my family are not going to trust me. And I might deserve this.
Maybe the people in my family would look at me in a certain way. And might become afraid, nervous, as if it were not my fault that I am different, but as if I am different, and cannot help it. The way I look at them. And move about. I will be nervous, and do things that they think I might do. They will become scared, and will start to flutter their hands. Look at me, and look away.
Maybe I should no longer trust them, because now I see that they are suspicious of me. They act in a way of moving about, that I wonder if they are the nervous ones, the members of my family. They are the ones from far off, who see me, and I see them, and they are moving back and forth, moving their hands. They might be the ones who are not to be trusted, the ones who commit things, and who blink their eyes a lot.
I will not look at them anymore. Their eyes have a way of looking and moving about so much is not a good thing to do. I don’t care not at all if they are not as big as those other people, who are bigger. I do not care if they are smaller. I had a big family, I thought, but I do not know what size they are anymore, and who is big or small. If they are going to look at me like this, and around, they can be as big as they want to be. They can be whatever size they are, but anyway, however, I will not look at them, or ever see them.